Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Stealthing

by | Jan 30, 2023

Stealthing comndom
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Stealthing means the act of removing a condom during sexual intercourse without consent, is a growing concern in the dating world. It not only violates a partner’s trust and autonomy, but it also poses significant physical and emotional risks. In this article, we will dive into the phenomenon of stealthing, explore its causes, and provide tips on how to prevent it, how to deal with it, and what legal actions you can take.

Dating And Complications

Dating is a crucial aspect of life for many people. It’s a way to connect with others, build meaningful relationships, and find love and companionship. However, like anything else in life, dating has its challenges, and one of them is stealthing.

Stealthing is a form of sexual assault that involves a person intentionally removing a condom during sexual intercourse without the consent of their partner. This act can cause emotional distress, physical harm, and even sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Causes of Stealthing

The causes of stealthing are complex and multi-faceted. It’s often driven by a sense of entitlement, a desire for power and control, or a disregard for the health and well-being of the other person. Some people may also engage in stealthing as a way to prolong sexual pleasure, or because they believe that it will increase the chances of getting their partner pregnant.

Warning Signs

It can be difficult to detect when someone is about to stealth you, but there are certain warning signs to look out for. These include:

  • Refusing to use a condom or insisting on taking it off during intercourse
  • Expressing negative views about condoms and safe sex practices
  • Exhibiting aggressive or controlling behavior in other areas of the relationship

If you experience any of these warning signs, it’s important to be vigilant and trust your instincts. You have the right to protect yourself, and if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, it’s best to end the sexual encounter and leave the situation.

The Emotional Toll 

Being stealthed can have a significant impact on a person’s emotional well-being. It can cause feelings of betrayal, shame, anger, and fear. It’s a violation of trust and a clear breach of consent. It can also lead to anxiety and depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in some cases.

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Stealthing by Women

It is often assumed that only men engage in stealthing, but women can also engage in this act. Although it is less common, women may also remove a condom without their partner’s consent, either because they feel entitled, are seeking power and control, or have other motivations.

Regardless of gender, stealthing is a form of sexual assault that violates the trust and autonomy of the other person. It’s important to be aware that anyone can engage in this behavior, and to remain vigilant and proactive in protecting yourself from it.

It’s also important to acknowledge that women who engage in stealthing may face different challenges and consequences than men. Society often views women who engage in sexually aggressive behavior as deviant or promiscuous, and they may face stigma and discrimination as a result.

Stealthing is a violation of consent and trust, regardless of the gender of the person who engages in it.

Lying About Birth Control

Another form of stealthing is lying about taking birth control pills or using other forms of contraception. This can be especially harmful if the person has not informed their partner about their contraceptive choices. This type of deception can result in unintended pregnancy, which can have long-term physical and emotional consequences for both partners.

Forced Pregnancy

Stealthing can also be used as a tool to force pregnancy. Some individuals may remove a condom without consent as a way to get their partner pregnant. This is a form of reproductive coercion and can have serious consequences, both physically and emotionally. Pregnancy can greatly impact a person’s life, and being forced into it without consent is a violation of autonomy and bodily integrity.

Alcohol and Coercion

Alcohol and coercion can play a significant role in stealthing incidents. Consuming alcohol can impair a person’s judgment and make them more vulnerable to being stealthed. In some cases, individuals may be pressured or coerced into engaging in sexual activity, which can increase the likelihood of stealthing taking place.

Alcohol can also be used as a tool by the person engaging in stealthing to manipulate their partner into a sexual situation. They may use alcohol to lower their partner’s inhibitions, making it easier for them to remove the condom without consent.

Coercion is a form of psychological pressure that can be used to make someone feel like they have no other choice but to comply with a demand, including engaging in sexual activity without a condom. In these situations, the person may feel too intimidated or scared to speak up or resist.

Victims of pregnancy coercion may feel trapped in the relationship and may have difficulty accessing resources and support. It is important for individuals to be aware of their reproductive rights and have open and honest communication with their partners about their plans and desires regarding pregnancy.

Preventing Stealthing

The best way to prevent stealthing is to be proactive and informed. Here are some tips to help you protect yourself:

  • Communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your sexual boundaries and expectations.
  • Use condoms consistently and correctly, and make sure that they remain in place throughout the sexual encounter.
  • Pay attention to warning signs, and if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, leave the situation immediately.

Getting Over Being Stealthed

Dealing with the aftermath of stealthing can be challenging,

but it’s important to seek support and take care of yourself. Here are some steps to help you heal:

  • Seek medical attention to reduce the risk of STIs and to obtain any necessary treatment or preventive care.
  • Speak with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your experience to help process your feelings and begin to heal.
  • Consider reporting the incident to the authorities and seeking legal recourse if you feel comfortable doing so.
  • Focus on self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, such as exercise, meditation, or creative pursuits.

Is Stealthing Sexual Assault?

Stealthing is a form of sexual assault because it involves non-consensual and intentional removal of a condom during sexual intercourse. It is a violation of a person’s autonomy and bodily integrity, and it can cause physical harm and emotional distress. In some jurisdictions, stealthing is considered a criminal offense and can result in legal consequences.

Legal Actions

If you have been a victim of stealthing, you have the right to seek legal action. You can report the incident to the authorities, such as the police, and file a complaint. You can also seek compensation through civil litigation, such as a personal injury lawsuit. However, it’s important to keep in mind that the process can be complex and time-consuming, and it may not result in a successful outcome.

The most important thing is to prioritize your own well-being and seek the support you need to heal and move forward.


Stealthing is a growing concern in the dating world and a violation of trust, consent, and bodily integrity. It’s important to be aware of the warning signs, take preventative measures, and seek support if you have been a victim of stealthing. It’s also important to remember that stealthing is a form of sexual assault and may result in legal consequences. The best thing you can do is prioritize your own well-being and seek the help you need to heal and move forward.

Stealthing is a serious issue that deserves attention and action. By being informed, proactive, and supportive, we can work together to create a safer and more equitable dating environment for everyone.

Sexual coercion | Office on Women’s Health. (2021, February 15). Sexual Coercion | Office on Women’s Health. Retrieved January 29, 2023, from https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/sexual-coercion

Ellwood, B. (2021, December 19). Narcissism and sexual compulsivity are tied to sexual deception, according to new research. PsyPost. Retrieved January 29, 2023, from https://www.psypost.org/2021/12/narcissism-and-sexual-compulsivity-are-tied-to-sexual-deception-according-to-new-research-62259

Murynka, D. (2017, May 11). Is It Illegal to Lie about Using Contraception? | The Walrus. The Walrus. Retrieved January 29, 2023, from https://thewalrus.ca/is-it-illegal-to-lie-about-using-contraception/

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